The Night I almost died

 

In April of 1994 I had just spent an evening of laughs with some friends at Bayshore shopping center with a group of comedians sittings in the food court.  They were exchanging stories and jokes and I hadn't laughed so hard in a very long time.  It was about 9pm in the evening so I decided to head home in high spirits. 

As I was in the parking lot I was approached by three Somalian guys around my age.  I have never discussed this part of my incident but the lesson I learned years later it's something I've kept hidding for a lot of years. 

One of them eventually came at me and I attempted to defend myeslf but failed.  I had one of them a headlock and now realize he was stabbing me in the back multiple times.  One of the other guys had a switchblade and took a few good swipes at my leg.   It was over pretty quick and I didn't even know I had been stabbed, I started to walk away and felt pain in my leg.  I put my hand down and it was completly red when I looked at it.  I fell down in the parking lot of the mall and I remember a lot of people looking at me and one lady with a smile I'll never forget calming me down.

The muscle in my leg was severed in two places and I would eventually need major surgery to repair it.  I had a punctured lung and one knife missed my heart by an inch.

I remember being in the hospital and one of the Ottawa police officers said "One of the guys fathers is here to see you and wants to apologize" I said no as the state my mind was in it probably wouldn't have went well.  To this day that is something I regret.

I carried around a lot of hate for a lot years and any time I saw anyone that looked like those guys I would have a panic attack and horrible thoughts.  

I remember going to the movies a few years after this happened and the trailer for Captain Philips with Tom Hanks was one of the previews and I had to leave the theatre.  I went to the washroom and just sat in a stall and cried and punched the stall.

I remember multiple times being on the subway in Toronto and if anyone sat near me that was of Somalian decent I was overcome with fear that this would happen again and usually would get off the train and wait for another one. 

I knew in my head this was three guys and not everyone that looked like them were going to stab me but that's not something you can control.

In 2014 my ex wife as eight months pregnant with our daughter and we were moving into a fourth floor building with no stairs.  She wasn't able to do anything and I had no help so I was about two hours in to moving and two Somalian guys approached me outside as i was buckled over.

I got in to a self defense pose and one of them looked at me and said "Do you want some help?"

I just stood there staring at them and said "Ofcourse"

They made a call and shortly after I had five Somalians helping me up and down the stairs with all our stuff.

This was the biggest wakeup call I had ever gotten and was the moment I decided to go get some professional help for my PTSD.

I became close friends with two of them and after our daughter was born we had them over for dinner.  I told them about what happened and why I had the weird reaction when they asked if I wanted help.

My reason for posting this is I carried so much hate and anger for a lot of years and I wish I had of gone for help earlier but everything happens for a reason.  If you're carrying anything around don't hold it in as it's good for no one especially yourself.